In recent times a new Bill was tabled in Parliament to put the authority for approval of the use of RU486 in the hands of Therapeutic Goods Administration. The Australian Medical Association was in favour of this outcome, saying that it was a medical issue, not a moral one. Others, like the Catholic church railed against the proposal.
Senators voted on the Bill and the majority voted in favour of giving the Therapeutic Goods Administration authority to decide on whether to revoke the ban on RU486. Unsurprisingly, an amendment to the Bill was proposed shortly thereafter:
The amendment to be introduced this week to the House of Representatives would ensure parliament could vote on the drug if it was approved by the Therapeutic Goods Administration by making any decision "a disallowable instrument".Which to me sounds like something the 13th fairy at Sleeping Beauty’s christening would do but hey you voted for the bastards, not me.
Then yesterday a politician called Dana Vale became quite vocal in backing the amendment. Not on the basis of new medical evidence. Not on the basis of an anomaly in the voting. Not even to complain that allowing the "rare conscience vote" had been ill advised. Dana thinks that we should legislate to keep the RU486 alternative out of the hands of doctors because “we are aborting ourselves almost out of existence by 100,000 abortions every year. You multiply that by 50 years - that's 5 million potential Australians we won't have here” (meaning that we’ll be "overrun by Muslims" in 50 years, as it turns out, rather than suggesting the human race is in danger of extinction). Is Dana inferring that outlawing the drug will somehow stop women from having legal abortions using existing options? Or is she is predicting a sudden rush of interest as the new drug becomes available, a bit like the iPod Nano craze? Dana also didn’t clarify precisely who she means by “we”, or explain how Muslim parents of future "potential" Australians should interpret her words.
Now I’m no philosopher or logic queen, but it doesn’t take a mental giant to conclude that Dana’s thinking seems a bit bent. Her views add nothing to the debate about whether the drug is an appropriate method for terminations, nor do her statements refer to safety or cost or any of the other issues that may be relevant at a time like this. What Dana seems to be concerned about is all the little white Christian babies we're not having.
It really makes me squirm to see Dana on a limb like this so I thought I'd help her out by brainstorming a number of alternative ideas she could propose to her colleagues, that would still allow women in Australia to be offered the best care and medical advice at times when they’re in the unenviable predicament of having to make a decision about a pregnancy in circumstances that are dangerous or untenable.
- Outlaw all non-Christian marriages. That should discourage at least some of those other heathen religions from breeding unnecessarily.
- Lower the age of consent. Research shows that the higher a woman’s education level the less likely she is to have lots of children so I wouldn’t even risk waiting until after the School Certificate. And with the baby bonu$, you’ll be quite a hit with more than a few 14 year olds, I’m sure.
- Raise the baby bonu$ for natural blondes. Have a special lane in the supermarket too.
- Remove the current ban on cloning and clone all our favourite Australians starting with John Howard so that we’ve got a spare PM when he announces his retirement in 2023. Hell - make it a baker’s dozen. There's never enough Honest Johns, I say.
- Deport childless adults back to the countries where their families originally came from. This might prove a problem in the case of Aboriginal adults but I’m sure your new department of Family, Community & Indigenous Affairs could work on that.
- Restrict access to contraceptives and fund some cute retro ads where the Intelligent Designer shows that it’s wrong to spill seed/remain barren. Encourage drunken fornication. (I know this is disgraceful but we live in exceptional times. It calls for exceptional measures. Do you want white babies or not?).
- Sneak into temples and secretly spray people with that new aerosol contraceptive formula created by those patriotic Australian researchers from Melbourne.
- Ask “real” Aussies like Steve Irwin and John Williamson to donate their sperm and offer it as an IVF option to those over-educated, unpatriotic white lesbians who refuse to party like it’s 1949.
- Recall all white part-Australian babies back to Australia, starting with the Kingaroo
Hope that helped, Dana. Yell out anytime, OK?
Photo by viclic