Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Choo on this

This is really old news but I keep coming across articles referring to it so I'll use it.

Four Inches is (according to a number of sources including News24.com ) "a charity book being produced to help an AIDS charity". Amazon.com breathlessly reports "Dressed in nothing but Jimmy Choo spikes and a single piece of Cartier jewelry, a constellation of beautiful, successful and empowering women bare all in aid of the Elton John Aids Foundation" and sells the book for a piddling $US40.95 (only $53.80 in Oztralia!).

Now call me churlish, but I've got a few issues with this.

Firstly, I'd like some clarification on which "empowering" women they're referring to. Christina Aguilera, Rachel Hunter, Victoria Beckham, Geri Halliwell...? Or maybe Sarah Ferguson, Paris or Nicky Hilton, Sophie Dahl, Anne Heche, Mimi Rogers...? There's always Pamela Anderson, Elle McPherson...? Tricky, isn't it? I'd have a buggar of a time if I was picking bridesmaids.

Secondly, I'd like to know how well the project would do without the charity provided by the Elton John AIDS Fondation. Yes, yes, the book's proceeds go to the foundation but imagine how much free publicity they've received in the first place because it's "for charity"? I've now read about the project in several newspapers and women's magazines and that's all bound to add up, let alone the warm and fuzzy response they'll get from all the readers who will want to "do their bit" for charity and feel all glamorous in the process. I do have a question though - if they're only giving 10% of the proceeds to the AIDS Foundation (yes - only 10%), does that mean the other 90% goes to Jimmy Choo? Oh. OK.

But we *are* reassured that the Foundation "will make sure that [the 10%] gets to women and girls in Africa who are infected with HIV/AIDS." What? So that they can buy some Jimmy Choos? Nice one.

Thirdly, the Take 2 site describes it "A collaboration between Jimmy Choo and Cartier, Four Inches is a book for women, about women and by women." Excuse me? Personally I'm so sick of the mock-coquettery of half of these old boilers that I'd rather look at Grandpa Simpson's scrotum, s'cuze the bad taste, but hey - they started it. And I care even less for the rest of them. But I'm obviously just one colour in life's wonderful spectrum; listen to these excepts from other hues out there who submitted their reviews of Four Inches to Amazon:

With the title "An enjoyable sexual escapade for a great cause!" JD writes:
"Old-fashioned eroticism meets the most beautiful & famous women in the world today. See supermodel Heidi Klum wearing nothing but a smile, high heels, and a cat's mask. Rapper Kelis tied up in her microphone cord with her breasts peeking out. Model/actress Carmen Electra made up as a nude marionette, which is at the same time erotic and disturbing imagery. And if that isn't freaky enough, Nicky Hilton baking in the buff! ... It's a classy art book that you can sit out on your coffee table, but the subject matter is attractive to a much wider audience of people. "
Or this:
If you are a celebrity buff like me and you love looking at pictures of your favorite celebs wearing jewels and shoes that no common person like myself will ever be able to afford in this lifetime, this book is for you.
And this bloke, who clearly hasn't been told about it being "for wimmin, by wimmin" and only gave it one disappointing star:
"The hype on the is book was the women would be wearing nothing but four inch heels and jewelry. Well most are what I would call topless shots. For me, to be nude is to show full frontal or full derriere shots. There is not one full frontal shot here... No guts, no glory. The few women who do pose nude have done so elsewhere so there is nothing new here... I was looking forward to the Duchess because she is known to have a fuller figure, a real woman's figure, which I enjoy. My respect for her just fell several notches, no guts rip off."
Poor pet.

And I suppose the poorest pet in the story is Sarah Ferguson who I hope has been spared from seeing the "From the Publisher" section where it says "Sarah Ferguson does indeed appear within these pages, but it's all in the best possible taste and for a very good cause."


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